People are incredibly good at spotting insincerity.
This can make meeting new people very tricky… especially when you’re out to impress. Because we often interpret ‘impressing’ - to an extent - as lying.
We’re susceptible to over-exaggerate, over-emote, over-compensate, over-flatter and generally over-do. There’s nothing remotely natural about any of it and the recipient can spot it a mile away.
As we get to know business associates and begin to like them, our emotions become ‘real’ but, to begin with, we simply can’t help being a little more ‘fake’.
We’re on our best behaviour from the moment we shake hands.
We’re shoulders back, chest out. We sit up straight and we mind our ‘P’s and ‘Q’s.
This is expected.
So, what we should really do is learn to do the unexpected.
Here’s the trick that most great businessmen know
There’s much to gain from ingratiating yourself with important people - getting them onto your side and into your contacts list is well worth the effort.
With this in mind, by the way, it’s as important to meet on the golf course, or over a beer, as it is to meet around the boardroom table.
However, regardless of location, if you’re the one doing the ingratiating, it’s sometimes hard to make your actions seem natural and you can come across as a ‘suck-up’, so to speak.
Making your actions seem genuine is NOT the way to go… they must BE genuine. And the emotions behind your actions must be genuine too.
If you’re to convince a big-wig that you like them… try actually liking them!
It’s as simple as that.
Research, research, research
If you want to be liked, you should focus less on how you present yourself and focus more on the person you’re meeting.
Research them, find out details about them, learn them, find common ground and you’ll naturally begin to like them. There’s nothing more flattering to someone you’ve never met, than to know a little about them - and what this does to your own mindset is it allows you to perceive that you actually know them better than you do.
It’s the same principle as meeting a celebrity who you know all the gossip about… it creates a false perception of friendship.
Swatting-up is a clever, calculated, proven psychological influence.
As human beings, we naturally like people who remind us of ourselves, so finding common ground makes perfect sense.
We’re far more likely to smile with, open up to and chat with people we think already ‘get’ us. AND, crucially in business, we’ll be more memorable.
Being remembered is more than half the battle. The other half is being remembered for the right things! So you still have to great at what you do.
- Monday, July 25, 2016
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